Caregiver Burnout and Anticipatory Grief
Caregiver burnout is physical and emotional exhaustion from caring for someone over a long period. Anticipatory grief is grief that starts before a loss happens. When caring for someone with cancer leads to depression, anxiety or burnout, you deserve treatment of your own. Our virtual IOP has a dedicated caregiver track: caregivers enroll as clients in their own right, with their own assessment and treatment plan, in Massachusetts.
What is anticipatory grief?
Anticipatory grief is the sadness, fear and loss you feel while someone you love is still alive. It can come with an advanced diagnosis, but also at any stage: grief for the relationship as it was, for plans that changed, or for your own life on hold. It often comes mixed with guilt, relief, anger or numbness, and all of these are normal.
Signs of caregiver burnout
- Exhaustion that sleep doesn't fix
- Feeling resentful, then guilty for feeling it
- Getting sick more often, or skipping your own medical care
- Pulling away from friends and things you used to enjoy
- Feeling like no one else can do it right, so you never take a break
- Anxiety, irritability or feeling hopeless
- Thinking "I can't keep doing this"
Why caregiver mental health matters at Three Rivers
Founder Nina Abelowitz’s experience caring for her mother through breast cancer informs her commitment to mental health care for family caregivers. In her published Runway for Recovery remarks, Nina described the responsibility of coordinating her mother’s care while raising her own family and working as a nurse practitioner. That personal experience complements her clinical background in oncology and psychiatry.
Read Nina’s Runway for Recovery remarks (opens in a new tab)
Why cancer caregivers burn out
Caregivers often become nurse, scheduler, advocate and emotional anchor on top of being a partner or child. Many report distress as high as the patient's, with far less support. (Source coming soon.)
The caregiver track: treatment for you, not just support
This isn't a drop-in support group. Caregivers in the IOP are clients: you have your own intake assessment, your own treatment plan and your own clinicians. Your track runs separately from the patient groups, so you can speak freely. Over a 4-week cycle, the caregiver group covers:
- Caregiver burden: naming what's hardest, and who's taking care of you
- Boundaries and asking for help: sorting tasks into "must be me," "could be someone else" and "could be dropped," with a script for asking
- Anticipatory grief and difficult emotions: making room for resentment, exhaustion, guilt and grief without judgment
- Sustaining yourself: a realistic daily, weekly and monthly self-care plan and a support network beyond the program
Schedule: Monday, Wednesday and Friday, 9:00am to 12:15pm, by video. Weekly hours: 9.
Questions
Talk it through with us
Have a question about the program? Call the practice.
If you are in crisis, call or text 988, or go to your nearest emergency room.